Jon Rumsey
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Partner Power Hour
Presenter: Micha Goebig-Phelps, Life Coach.
- 10 year certified coach
- Specializing in confidence and leadership
- Number 1 'umbrella topic': Confidence (and lack of).
An appointment phone call with Mica can be made at michagoebig.com/call.
LinkedIn: in/michagoebig
Summary Points
- Many people do not do things they could do but don't have the confidence to allow them to do it.
- Historically: Experience builds confidence.
- Today: Confidence is a trainable skill!
- Myth: Either you have confidence as a personality trait, or you don't, i.e. people are not born with confidence.
- Upbringing plays a big part in confidence in adulthood.
- Personality is not permanent.
- Self doubt is poisonous: "That person over there has things that I do not."
- Confident leaders have fear and self-doubt like everybody else - they just act anyway.
- Through taking action, you learn that you can do things you haven't done before.
- 'Difficult' is not equivalent to 'Not Possible'.
- The human brain dislikes doing new things and handling change in general.
- Human brain cannot distinguish the difference in dangers e.g. Bear Attacking vs. Presenting/performing in front of 1,000 people.
- Removing yourself from its comfort zone puts the brain into a different state, usually defense and heightened fear.
- Lizard-brain: Am I food or is that food? Freight, flight... or food?
- What about imposter syndrome? Social change is necessary, corporate changes too, but our brain is wired to "keep us safe", although it is a misguided thinking process.
Keys to Confidence
- Guage: Confidence is a story we tell ourselves. We tell ourselves stories all the time, why not tell one of confidence?
- Convey: Confidence is recallable. How to feel this when I go into another situation?
- Embark: Be prepared for the challenge and ready.
- Review: What went well and what could go differently? Remember, failure is a means to future success.
- Integrate: Celebrate everything positive: Small successes, small rewards. Large success? Larger rewards!
TODOs to Build Your Confidence
Questions to ask myself:
Do I have trauma that needs professional assistance to work through?
- What holds me back from being confident?
- When do I feel most confident? When did I feel confident today?
- How does confidence feel in my body?
- How can I continue to take actions that will build my confidence?
- How can I prepare to make taking action a little less scary?
Build confidence through failure (and be okay with the failure).
Review these question every week:
- What went well? One page of good things during the previous week.
- What didn't go well? Again, no more than 1 page.
- What would I do differently? Think about trying things differently if possible. At this point you can determine if the "didn't go well" are just "life" and things you don't have control over.
- Reward Yourself! When you complete something hard, follow it up with some positive emotional experience(s).
- Choose to create confidence.
- Choose to not pay attention to your brain and not believe everything your brain is telling you.
- Remember to breathe. Oxygen and 'micro breaks' will help you collect your thoughts and remain/calm down.
Confidence is something you can choose to create.
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